I guess I finally want to share this. That or I can't handle it anymore. There are a lot of things I can't handle anymore, but this is the easiest one to spill.
I had gone three weeks with my good side, this side, out. I hadn't suspected anything, just hoped that maybe life was going in my favor for what felt like the first time in years.
I couldn't have been more wrong.
When those people kept asking me if my other side can hide things from me, I lied. It can. It does. I have moments in my life that are blanks.That's how I can tell when my other side was out. That and when my memory goes hazy at moments. That's how I know a switch is coming.
The strange thing with the incident, though, is that there wasn't that unwelcome haziness that used to always ease me into it. It just popped up on me. Two weeks passed and before I knew it, I was at camp. There are two weeks where I have no memory.
I hate to lie. I hate to hurt people, but I have. I've done it before, and if I don't take care of this, then I'll only do it again.
So I guess this is goodbye, Mom. And everyone else. I could say I'm sorry, but I'm not really sure if I am.
I hope you don't miss me too much.