Monday, September 30, 2013


The final farewell. That's one thing to call it.

I swore I wasn't going to write anymore, but I needed to.

My name is Jillian Elms. I have fallen down the rabbit hole and passed through the looking glass. I hate Wonderland. There are some amazing people, but I hate it.

I've trained myself to fight. I've learned to shut people out, and shut them down. The white queen's brother hasn't been so happy about this, but he has no reason to be. Not after what I've done.

The cat was right. The red queen wants my head. I'm giving it to her. The red king is dead and can't talk sense into her. I lost the croquet game.
The flowers haven't even dried.

I'm folding my cards, but I already showed them to you, so what's the point? The maze is impossible to solve, at least it is for me. There's only one way to get back to Dinah and my sister and those daisy chains. I barely remember the river anymore. The waters burn, the devil's rapids, but they taste so sweet.

That's where I'm going. Back where I belong. Back where I deserve to be. There are no excuses for what I have done and what I have caused. That has been shouted to the world plenty of times.

Keep on smiling, Cheshire Cat. Someone here deserves to be happy. The white rabbit is on time. The glass has shattered and I'm below. I'd grown and shrunk and I don't know who I am. Maybe I'm the wrong Alice.

The Mad Hatter was nice. He made me feel at home. The March Hare gave some fun to it all, and the Dormouse gave us the sleep we all needed.

I daresay I'm crying. For the things I've done, for the things I'll do. It's my fault that the Jabberwock is dead. I went galumphing back with its head.

Here's the Bandersnatch's precious eye. It'll be needed if you want to survive.

I've walked a little faster, but I'll always be the snail. The porpoise has caught me, it's on my tail.

Your drinks at your tea party weren't the poison. The tea didn't kill me. The cookies haven't crumbled. The roses' thorns pricked my fingers, as red as their paint.

I wish I could say I love you, but I never was a liar.

Goodbye Wonderland. I hope you miss me.