Wonderland

The final farewell. That's one thing to call it.

I swore I wasn't going to write anymore, but I needed to.

My name is Jillian Elms. I have fallen down the rabbit hole and passed through the looking glass. I hate Wonderland. There are some amazing people, but I hate it.

I've trained myself to fight. I've learned to shut people out, and shut them down. The white queen's brother hasn't been so happy about this, but he has no reason to be. Not after what I've done.

The cat was right. The red queen wants my head. I'm giving it to her. The red king is dead and can't talk sense into her. I lost the croquet game.
The flowers haven't even dried.

I'm folding my cards, but I already showed them to you, so what's the point? The maze is impossible to solve, at least it is for me. There's only one way to get back to Dinah and my sister and those daisy chains. I barely remember the river anymore. The waters burn, the devil's rapids, but they taste so sweet.

That's where I'm going. Back where I belong. Back where I deserve to be. There are no excuses for what I have done and what I have caused. That has been shouted to the world plenty of times.

Keep on smiling, Cheshire Cat. Someone here deserves to be happy. The white rabbit is on time. The glass has shattered and I'm below. I'd grown and shrunk and I don't know who I am. Maybe I'm the wrong Alice.

The Mad Hatter was nice. He made me feel at home. The March Hare gave some fun to it all, and the Dormouse gave us the sleep we all needed.

I daresay I'm crying. For the things I've done, for the things I'll do. It's my fault that the Jabberwock is dead. I went galumphing back with its head.

Here's the Bandersnatch's precious eye. It'll be needed if you want to survive.

I've walked a little faster, but I'll always be the snail. The porpoise has caught me, it's on my tail.

Your drinks at your tea party weren't the poison. The tea didn't kill me. The cookies haven't crumbled. The roses' thorns pricked my fingers, as red as their paint.

I wish I could say I love you, but I never was a liar.

Goodbye Wonderland. I hope you miss me.

One in a Million

This is more of a prompt than anything (which I got last nigh from some friends).

1. Take a picture of a crowd, or some famous picture. The catch is that it has to be a picture the world doesn't know who it is about.
2. Pick a person out of the crowd.
3. Write their story. Before, then, and after.

I'm seriously excited to do this, and hope to be able to post some on here sometime!

I Remember (Lyrics)

Liquid feelings

jelly legs

no one tells me

how to feel safe

flower petals

fall away

carefully placed

in a horrific way

I remember your favorite things

stars in a purple night sky

I remember everything

I remember everything you ever told me

Dirt is sprinkled

twisted and turned

falling slowly

as they shut you away

Now you're gone

and I am here

resting troubledly

without you near

I remember your favorite things

lights appearing like shimmery stars

I remember everything

I remember everything you ever told me

Boxes packed up

and stored away

books are shelved

they won't be read today

Shivers in cold

shudders in fear

no one told me

you'd leave me here

I remember your favorite things

that leather jacket that never kept you warm

I remember everything

I remember everything you ever told me

Shattered glass

and a broken wood

like perfect round glasses

and a an oaken wand

Things you loved

and liked and dismayed

no one noticed

or thought it'd end this way

I remember your favorite things

black boots and white shiny Keds

I remember everything

everything you ever told me

Pond

Misty hues in greys and blues
no one sees, but me and you
Flapping, flying in the wind
Screaming, squawking without an end

Stems grow taller, flowers bloom
Cattails smile at tadpoles new
Lily pads float with pinks and whites
Trees and shadows cast sunlight

Overhanging leaves will fall
atop the frogs, tiny and small
reflection's glare across the sea
no one misses in obscurity

Darkness sheds the light so dear
and brings about a comforting ear
listening in with all its might
they share their secrets in the dead of night

The Music Box

The small box may have looked like a piece of trash, but inside it was so much more. 

The aged, oaken walls hid a tiny, dancing fäerie that danced to various titles, all unknown to me or anyone of any knowledge that I had spoken with. It was as if my little fäerie friend was a creature of wisdoms unknown. 

Her eerie tune would play me to sleep and wake me up, day after day and night after night. Her light, lilting tune would relax my nerves and put me in a happy place. Her powerful notes and strides would fuel my passionate emotions and give me strength. It was as if she could read my mind. 

Twirling, the fäerie would dance. Her leg extended and arms raised as she stood on the tips of her toes. A green tint to her pale skin and elfish ears hinted at magic, but misty wings assured the light rumour she began. 

The song would change and so would my mood. Something deep and dramatic for a bad day, and something light and happy for a good one. She was my family, my home. She was my escape. 

Traveling with me, she witnessed fire firsthand. She saw death. She suffered damages and loss herself, a chipped wing to prove it. Yet still she carried onward, being the strong little fäerie that would not stop. She was mine. 

I would be the fäerie. I would be strong. 

Maybe You're The Problem (Lyrics)

Maybe you're the problem
Maybe it's not me
Maybe everyone else thinks differently

I fell down your hole called love
Never thought I'd see an end
Always told only lies
Always told it was the truth

But now I see the light at the end of the tunnel
But now I'm finally on my own
But now I'm out of that wretched hole
Cause now I am
Alone

You always said I Love You
I always thought you meant it
But all along I knew
It was all because of you

Maybe you're the problem
Maybe it's not me
Maybe everyone else thinks differently

They always said it was my fault
Called me names and insults
No one ever liked me when I fell hard
Not even you

Since everything you said was a lie
Since everything you told me was wrong
What do I mean to you now?
Now that I know

So maybe you're the problem
Maybe it's not me
Maybe everyone else thinks differently

You probably know this is for you
And how it's the story of us
Cause I remember it all too well
It's haunting me even now

You never were exactly innocent
I couldn't call you the lucky one
I couldn't say I almost love you
Even though every time I try not to
I almost do

Maybe you're the problem
Maybe it's not me
Maybe everyone else thinks differently

So maybe this time I'm right
A rare occurrence near you
So take this song as a Dear John note
Cause this time it's not me

Maybe you're the problem
Maybe it's not me
Maybe everyone else thinks differently
Maybe you're the problem
Maybe it's not me
Maybe everyone else thinks differently

Mom

I guess I finally want to share this. That or I can't handle it anymore. There are a lot of things I can't handle anymore, but this is the easiest one to spill.

I had gone three weeks with my good side, this side, out. I hadn't suspected anything, just hoped that maybe life was going in my favor for what felt like the first time in years.

I couldn't have been more wrong.

When those people kept asking me if my other side can hide things from me, I lied. It can. It does. I have moments in my life that are blanks.That's how I can tell when my other side was out. That and when my memory goes hazy at moments. That's how I know a switch is coming.

The strange thing with the incident, though, is that there wasn't that unwelcome haziness that used to always ease me into it. It just popped up on me. Two weeks passed and before I knew it, I was at camp. There are two weeks where I have no memory.

I hate to lie. I hate to hurt people, but I have. I've done it before, and if I don't take care of this, then I'll only do it again.

So I guess this is goodbye, Mom. And everyone else. I could say I'm sorry, but I'm not really sure if I am.

I hope you don't miss me too much.